I have lost the taste of love. No hugs, no empathy do I get even from heavens above. Mental agony is consuming me with each coming dawn and each passing dusk. I tried to give love in order to be loved. I tried to give a hearty laughter so I could get a smile but all I got was ignorance with a notice of covering another agonizing mile. It’s been ages since I have felt the power of love. Whenever I think that it’s time I should be showered with elixir of love , all I get bestowed with is hatred, jealousy and rest the God knows above. Oh god knows the number of times I have said sorry without it being my mistake. God is the evidence how many times I have been made feel inferior by my dear ones( at least I consider them) but all I got in return was the slap of neglect. Whenever I want power in my life all life gives me back is the throne of vulnerability, the crown of inferiority and a bouquet in which every flowers has thorns. God knows when will the time comes when I will again feel invincible and loved but for now I am the one who is unloved.
Desire is the key for passion to follow its lead. It tip toes at first and then takes a big leap for passion only raves with every passing eve.
Fragile as a butterfly and strong as a devil, passion reaches higher crossing all the levels.
Passion burns like fire in a hopeless drought boasting under the sky enough to taste the first rain drop.
Passion burning like fire is never complete without gentle wind strokes for love is that gentle spark due to which passion arose.
Passion is fearless like sparks fly in the sky. Like fearlessness gentleness is another essence that fills passion with life that blend of both( fearlessness and gentleness) is like rose petals on fire.
My mind, my soul are tired and are covered with a thick layer of scars. People took me for granted on every step of my life. I doubt if I should have feelings or I should just rent them once in a while just to do some formalities like smiling forcefully or keeping myself from doing something insane. I am already losing sanity. Earlier when I was strong emotionally I could take the betrayals, harsh comments easily but as the time passed I got mentally drained. I tried to revive myself for 3years but something after the other kept happening making me lose my shine my hope. I have lost all my inner strength now. I am just like a leaf fallen from the tree that goes in the direction the wind takes it in. Though I know that only dead fish go with the flow. I didn’t wanna be that dead fish so I fought back. I fought back hard but now I am tired. I am not happy, I am not angry, I am not sad I am tired. I am emotionally tired and I have got no strength now to revive myself. I am tired of fighting with people who try to bring me down, who break their promises and their actions are a complete evidence that they did so on purpose, just to hurt me. I tried to say I don’t care but all I did was care. I am not even capable enough to deal with day to day life now. Please don’t ever hurt anyone on purpose or just for fun. If you love a person then love wholeheartedly or don’t love at all. New technology has developed to cure even the most serious injury but their is no technology for curing emotional and soul related injuries.
There comes a time in life when all people want to do is make you feel inferior and it doesn’t matter who you are to them. Friends, sometimes family everybody just wants to control you , your life. Just pause for a moment and think if you want to take the way where you are getting everything but you are unhappy or the way where u have limited means but you are happy, healthy with master of your own journey. Just pause for a moment and feel that air of freedom that you will be breathing touching you to the core of your heart when all you will have to do is be free. Free from dominance, free from people trying to drag you down from the skies of happiness to the dirt of jealousy, anger, hatred. No matter how hard you try to tell others how you feel they don’t understand because they don’t want to. Make your own way. It will be all yours no one will be able to share that with you because you are its architect. You have the clarity that no one else can even think of. Don’t let that clarity go away when it comes to you because it does not come easily and when it does it is as fragile as a newborn baby. It doesn’t come alone it comes with insecurities and we have to work hard to get rid of those insecurities. After extracting the toxic essence of all sorts of negativity the product that’s left with you is something unexplainable yet touching the heights of clarity.
- I write it feeling as it is my last. I want to be disease free perfectly knowing that it will never be like that. Sometimes I feel like I should give in to my injuries but I don’t thinking what If someone is keeping record of my successful past( whenever I was in a difficult or painful situations I never gave up, and I knew that God was watching that). I think if it is karma, that is counting the times punishing me for every time I dropped venomous words from my mouth but then doctor says count it as scientific and pop the pills that can bring the fever level down. My mother says don’t lose hope then I try to move on thinking that there’s a lot left to cope. But I can’t decide if I should go on as whenever I try to feel like I can go on a time comes as if I have stopped in a journey seeing a dead soldier’s funeral to mourn.
I wonder why the streaks of fire climb so high as if trying to reach the sky, beautiful crimson atop with ascendents Orange and yellow burning bright; it burns as passion does in the youth’s eyes. Coy as a lion is after he spots the deer but it is the wildness that peeks and not the silence of fear. As the lion attacks the deer after making the growl , the fire reaches higher after it has made it has made its presence felt around. Harmful it will be if it
I am just so fed up of forgetting that we shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. I am fed up of forgetting that being strong is the only option left. Sometimes by forgetting these things we play with our own emotions and end up getting hurt. We add another wound to our heart that is already well adorned with multiple number of wounds. It’s like mathematics for me. Even if I succeed once in learning a formula it is bound to vanish from my confused brain. I just don’t learn. We always try to find some people or a person in life who will be there no matter what. Some of us succeed some don’t. Why don’t we become that person for ourselves. Let others do what they want to. Sometimes when world is not enough but those few people or a person is. sometimes when we think that this is where peace lies and that turns out to be the most chaotic place that’s the time when we can hear our heart breaking into a million pieces. But most frustrating thing is that we cannot do anything about it because we have to be strong no matter what the situation is. It’s better that we become our own world. I want to be my own world.